Ospreys rugby player quits game at 24 to protect mental health

A former rugby player has said he will not return to the professional game to protect his mental health.

Harri Morgan, 24, who played for the Ospreys, announced he was taking a step back from the game in 2023 after trying to take his own life.

He lost both his grandparents in a short space of time and the pressures of a professional sporting environment made matters worse.

The Welsh Rugby Union said transitions and exits from the game could be turbulent, and they were focused on working on how players were supported through them.

Morgan, a former Wales under-20s player, who also turned out for his hometown club Bridgend, saw his short-lived professional career hampered by injuries.

Rugby used to be an outlet, but he said injuries and pressures of the sport intensified the grief he was experiencing.

‘’A lot of the negatives [in mental health] were leading back to rugby and the impact that was having,” he told BBC Wales Live.

“Especially the injuries and the pressures of being in a professional environment.

‘’I definitely didn’t feel as if there was a lot of support around this sort of injured group within rugby.

‘’I didn’t feel as if I could say anything because I was letting down teammates, coaches and end of the day, I still needed to get a contract.’’

This sense of isolation only increased after both his grandparents died within a short space of time.

‘’It started off like sort of anxiety,” he added.

“My heart would start racing and I’d get shortness of breath.’’

He said he became unable to cope and considered taking his life, saying: “I didn’t really feel anything, I just felt empty.”

Morgan said he received great support from his club, Swansea-based Ospreys, after opening up.

‘’I can’t fault the club, they were amazing,’’ he said. ‘’They gave me the time and the space I needed and the opportunity to go back if I wanted to take it.’’

But he is clear he doesn’t see himself returning to the professional game, adding: “People ask me now, ‘do you want to get back into rugby?’

‘’I’ve had the opportunity to get back in and I’ve said no, every time. I’d rather be happy than have all those benefits of being a professional rugby player.’’

He now manages a gym and works as a fitness coach, and hopes to see more support put in place for players.

“It’s putting a space for those conversations to take place and the people of power within rugby saying ‘you’re struggling, what can we do to help?’

‘’It’s the culture and understanding the individual and what they need.’’

Another former Ospreys player, Lloyd Ashley, has been appointed lead for mental health and wellbeing by trade body the Welsh Rugby Players Association.

‘’Just generally as a society we need to find it easier to check in on each other,” he said.

Ashley hopes lessons learnt in rugby will filter through to other sports and also general society.

‘’The fact that we don’t just say when somebody says to us ‘how are you?’, we don’t just go, ‘yeah good, you?’, without even thinking about it,” he said.

‘’I hope that trickles into everybody’s lives because it’s important that we have spaces where we feel safe enough to be honest.”

International player Dan Lydiate believes things have changed for the better since his debut for Wales in 2009.

‘’I think we’re talking about mental health more,” said the 36-year-old Grand Slam winner. “There’s more of an awareness of what’s going on in people’s lives which is a positive move.’’

After his father died two years ago, he said rugby was a lifeline.

‘’The only thing that was normal for me was to just get back into rugby and play the following week,” he added.

‘’I miss him now. Where I jump in the car, first thing I’d do, I’d pick up the phone and ring him on my way back.

‘’For all my career, until two years ago, that’s what we did every day.’’

He can understand why players struggle.

‘’In rugby, people see the highs but they don’t see the lows,’’ he said.

‘’They don’t see when you’re battered and bruised and laid up in a hospital bed and struggling to put a pair of pants on because you’ve broken bones and stuff like that.

‘’It’s not all smiles on faces. It is a tough career on the body and the mind.’’

Fellow Wales international and Dragons teammate Shane Lewis-Hughes, 27, believes conversations around mental health should be happening day-to-day.

‘’I think as a man, especially in a sporting environment, it’s almost like sometimes you bury your problems and you think they’re going to stay away but they don’t,” he said.

In a statement, the WRU said: “It is always difficult to hear of problems experienced by individuals from within the rugby family and, whilst our hearts go out to anyone who is struggling or has struggled in this area, we are also extremely grateful to and encouraging of the players who are bravely speaking out on this subject.”

It added that clinical psychologist Dr Dale Thomas worked with the two national teams and the Welsh Rugby Players Association.

“With over 300 member clubs and districts, Welsh rugby is a pervasive and positive force in this area throughout the country, with our clubs serving as hubs and gathering places for all those involved to share problems and help each other,” it added.

The statement said the WRU is “very proud” of its proactive approach through the community game, promoting the importance of all participants looking after themselves both physically and mentally.

If you have been affected to issues in this story, you can contact the BBC Action Line.

For more, watch BBC Wales Live at 10:40 GMT Wednesday on BBC1 Wales or catch up on iPlayer